Tag Archive for writing

Conscious Uncoupling (of my relationship with television)

Writing Category

(Apologies or Thanks to Goop for the title)

Tonight was a big night. A tv show that I loved, that I obsessively watched over and over, that I forced other people to watch, that I relished every episode… it’s over. A lot of other people loved this show, too, and a lot of people are disappointed in its ending. But I’m not. I’m okay with it.

Spoiler Warning: This post discusses events of and feels about the series finale of How I Met Your Mother. Don’t read any further if you haven’t seen it yet. Unless you’re honey badger and just don’t care. Also, these are my thoughts and feelings… yours may (and probably do) differ. My words are not intended to take anything away from your experiences. 

I am a huge fan of things, in the truest sense of the origin word fanatic. I take in media and I either feel completely neutral about it or need to COMPLETELY ABSORD IT INTO MY LIFE AND LIVE AND BREATHE IT. It’s one of the many reasons that it’s clear I have a very binary personality – either on or off. When I was introduced to the Star Wars films the summer after seventh grade, I spent my entire eighth grade year (and a good portion of my first two years of high school), writing sequels in my English class journal. And then turning them into three full-length (terrible) screenplays. (Side note: I write a lot gooder now, JJ Abrams… call me). I found my husband and a lot of really good friends because I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer so much that I had to write about it and post that writing online and talk to people about it. Hell, I have a career because I was like “Get paid to moderate people talking about LOST, which I’m obsessed with anyway? HELL YEAH!”

I am a fan. I am damn proud to be a fan. But I needed to let go.

I don’t know when it happened. Maybe it was the third season of LOST when everything went to hell because of network shenanigans. Maybe it was The Phantom Menace long before that. Maybe it was Moffat. (It was totally Moffat.) Somewhere along the way, with many things, I realized that as my level of fanaticism rose, my level of enjoyment started to decline. If I weren’t trying to get this post published quickly, I would make a really funny graph here.

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The more I examined something, the more I picked it apart and obsessed over particular parts, the more I grew to expect of the media… the less I enjoyed it. It makes sense. I took a piece of literature, raised it up, applied so many layers of expectation onto it… how could I ever have thought it wouldn’t get weighed down with all that.

So I pulled back. I stopped analyzing, I stopped guessing, I stopped trying to think ahead. I started enjoying my television for what it was, there, in the moment. And I found something surprising. I was okay with it. Not just okay with it. I actually enjoyed the things I liked more when I just let myself enjoy them.

I didn’t rage at the final twist in LOST. I only snickered a little at Anakin’s terrible “NOOOOOO!!!!” I didn’t hate the 19 Years Later. I didn’t freak out about Batfleck. I didn’t throw things at the television every time Moffat’s Misogyny reared its head (okay, only because replacing that many tvs would have been really expensive). And tonight, when The Mother got sick and Ted’s kids told him it was obvious he was still in love with Aunt Robin anyway… I was okay. It was expected. I had made my peace with it already and decided that it didn’t diminish the previous 9 years one iota. It didn’t negate every legendary, every olive test, every moment that I knew I was Lily, every 500 miles, every spoiler alert, every time that show made me laugh, and every time it made me cry (including the four new times tonight). Those are all still there, all still a part of the show, all still a part of me.

Okay, I laughed a lot at this. Image via Know Your Meme

Okay, I laughed a lot at this. Image via Know Your Meme

Is there a little piece of me that’s sad that I don’t throw myself into a show or a movie whole-heartedly anymore? No, because that’s not the case. I still do. I still discover something like The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and spend a weekend binge watching it and then find the best fanfic out there and read it over and over. I still have to make sure to watch The Walking Dead finale before the spoilers get out and get the new collection of the comics as soon as the library has it. I am still, 100% going to be at the midnight premieres of the Star Wars sequels, EU characters or not. But I’m not going to raise my expectations so high that they can’t breathe that altitude. Nothing can survive without air. Not even a fire as bright as a fandom.


Social Category


This change isn’t simply something that can be solved by telling people to just “not share anything you wouldn’t want everyone to see.” Your cover photo and profile picture are Public, with no ability to change this setting. Yes, you can refrain from using personal pictures for those. You can use a pseudonym (although this has been against Facebook Terms and Conditions in the past). You can lock down your profile even more than you have it locked down already. You can block the people you want to hide from (of course, knowing that you’re on Facebook now, they can always create another profile to harass you from). But someone shouldn’t have to go to all that trouble just to be able to interact with other people in the network. Putting the onus on the abused to censor themselves and hide in the shadows from their abusers is a) morally unconscionable, and b) cutting them off from vital lifelines.

Read my latest for Persephone Magazine at the link: Facebook Stops Even Pretending to Care About Privacy with Latest Settings Update by Crystal Coleman for Persephone Magazine.

This Week on Persephone: Silliness and Bones!

Writing Category

This week’s articles both had some really great discussion going on in the comments, so click through to Persephone Magazine to check it out and make sure to check out the rest of the article by my fellow writers. We’re got a smart bunch of ladies over there.

Positivity Challenge Week 15: Embracing Silliness

One of my fictional Positivity Mentors (that’ll be next week’s topic) is Phoebe from Friends. While her character may have been conceived and initially portrayed as the dumb blonde, the writers clearly saw that Lisa Kudrow could give them so much more than that and created one of the most interesting characters in television history. From her bouncing careers to her street smarts from being homeless, to the search for her birth father, and her carrying surrogate babies for her brother, Phoebe takes every challenge that life throws at her and hits it out of the park with a smile on her face. But the thing I love most about Phoebe? The fact that she unabashedly embraces silliness.

Recap: Bones, Episode 7.09, “The Don’t In The Do”

Scalping, academic publishing, baby blues, and blow-outs? It’s an all over the place episode of Bones, this week, and even Brennan ends up seeming kind of disgusted at the killer.

Last Week on Persephone: Taking Changes, Bones, and Nick Offerman

Writing Category

Sorry about the late update this week (I’ll explain more in a post tomorrow). This is what I’ve been doing this week at Persephone Magazine.

Positivity Challenge Week 14: Putting Yourself Out There

We’re going to put all our hard work on positivity into action this week with a challenge that might push many of you outside of your comfort zones. This week, I want you to put yourself out there and try something new.

How does this relate to positivity? What’s your thought process when you decide not to try something new? Does it go something like this:

Oh, hey, here’s a cool event that I’d like to go to. But I don’t know anyone who’s going. Well, I could go by myself. But what if I get lost on the way there? And what if everyone there already knows each other? And I won’t have anyone to talk to. And they’ll look at me like I’m that weirdo loner person. And I’ll probably get there early and be even more awkward. You know, it’s just not worth going because it’s not it matters whether I go or not since no one I know is going. And I have lots of Game of Thrones to read, so, it’s just better all around if I just stay home. Yeah, good decision.

The amount of negative self-talk contained in a line of reasoning like that is astounding when you break it down.

Recap: Bones 7.08 “The Bump in the Road”

This week on Bones: An extreme couponer finds herself on the wrong end of a semi-truck (as in, underneath it), Brennan goes back to work, and Cam’s daughter finds a new love interest… in the lab. With bonus Tina Majorino!

A Night with Nick Offerman

When Nick Offerman entered the room in an unbuttoned American flag shirt, carrying a guitar, and did a victory lap around the room, I knew this was going to be an awesome night.
For those not familiar with Nick Offerman, he is best known as the libertarian, woodworking, curmudgeonly director of the Pawnee Parks Department on the NBC show Parks and Recreation. He recently had the opportunity to do a small tour of universities, testing out some stand-up and songs. I was lucky enough to snag a seat for Wednesday nights show at the University of Florida. In case you aren’t in one of the areas he’ll be visiting (there’s no schedule posted, but check your local universities… this gig was only announced about a week in advance), here’s a run down of what an evening with Nick Offerman is like.

This Week on Persephone: Bodies and Bones

Writing Category

Positivity Challenge Week 13: Body Positivity

In this week’s Positivity Challenge, I tackle Body Positivity, which is one of the hardest things I’ve written about since I started the Positivity Challenge.

You may think that body negativity only affects you when you look in the mirror, but having a negative view of yourself is something that you carry around all the time. Having a negative view of your body or your appearance has a trickle-down effect. If you feel your shape is frumpy, you try to cover it up rather than dressing to flatter your curves. If you hate your hair, you won’t bother styling it or even drying it some mornings. The next time you look in the mirror, the person looking back confirms what you feel about yourself and so propels the negativity in a vicious circle. Even without looking at cases of diagnosed body dysmorphic disorder, some studies have shown that women in particular have a distorted view of their own bodies (which, of course, can then lead to BDD and eating disorders in severe cases). In a 2010 study, researchers found that the brains of the participants warped the size of their hands in their own mind, and researchers stated that the same warped view could be extrapolated to the rest of the body. In other words, body positivity is something we need to actively work for since our brains are naturally working against us.

Read more at Persephone.

Recap: Bones 7.07 “The Prisoner in the Pipes”

On a lighter note, the TV show Bones is back and that means my recaps are, too! And with a great episode, too, in “The Prisoner in the Pipes:”

In baby news, Booth convinces Sweets to use psychology tricks to try and talk Brennan into having a hospital birth. Sweets doesn’t want to take sides, but Booth plays the “but I thought you were a friend” card and Sweets is totally played because he just wants big brother Booth to accept him. When he pulls B&B in to do a “partner assessment” and asks a bunch of leading questions, he totally gives away the goat when he uses a totally hypothetical example of home birth vs. hospital birth. Brennan is rightly pissed and done listening to male opinions on where her daughter is born. She does provide a compromise to Booth, though… she’ll let their daughter be baptized. Every child needs mythology, she claims, which of course Booth takes objection to. Brennan points out how the whole Mary, Joseph, no room at the inn, manger birth was a pretty darn well plotted story.

Read more at Persephone.